Tell us your story B

Tell us your story B

B’s story

TW//Alcoholism

Born 1949. Had a very good childhood and a working life travelling the globe with I.T. in the UK, Japan, USA and Australia.

It developed into a life of excess of drinking for 46 years, the last 3 years really bad. Has a sudden, profound insight that:

‘I can’t do this any more’. 

Calls an alcohol support group and on the 31st August 2011 goes to first meeting. Initially leaves quite quickly but returns the following week, and for the next 11 years.

Linked into a ‘sponsor’ or ‘guide’ from the support meeting who shares what they did in the programme and takes the first step in admitting and understanding that there is a problem. His ‘sponsor’ was a good person who helped him understand  his inner workings both good and bad. 

Beyond the 12 step programme

Finds the 12 step program too religious in some of it’s language and found it challenging that people were encouraged to believe in something rather than understanding their own mind and thoughts.

Feels that understanding the difficult things from early life can be a good start point but realises it does need fully dealing with if those things are uncovered as it can be a traumatic thing.

Realised in the meetings that others that had more difficult childhoods and people can carry this forward into their adult life. For him there was no such early life trauma.

Time working for the Samaritans supporting people.

Because of the religious language in the programme he turns to meditation as another way to ‘be’, and understand himself. Wants to understand more of his feelings in reacting to life and being able to recognise emotions like anger and being able to accept and let them go.

Still believes in the 12 step programme as a bridge to normal living but didn’t want to get stuck in that system and wanted to move on into real life again. 

Being more present

Now seeking to be more present in his life and realises:

‘The only time we are alive is now.’

Currently illustrating a book about facing your problems, understanding yourself, and living a good life. Also seeking to create a space where people can chat and interact as a way of getting to know themselves and being able to function in society. Along the lines of the Frazzled Cafe.

Someone who’s turned their life around and wants to help and support others through his ideas.

One can only shake his hand and wish him well.

Insight

‘If you’ve got one foot in the past and one for in the future then you’re in the perfect place to crap all over the present!’

Image response to B’s story

Date of insight and age when B started to turn his life around.

I can't do this anymore image

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Tell us your story A

Tell us your story A

A’s story

A’s early life includes being schooled in Egypt, growing up by the sea as a child in Kent, and eventually moving to Croydon in later childhood after her father changes his job.

At 18 she moves to Oxford for nursery nurse training and meets her husband and marries.

At weekends they start to take children from his school to a centre in Wales for outdoor pursuits. Eventually they seek a loan to buy their own cottage to run as a centre and move north to Chester in 1971 to be nearer to it.

Woven lives

With the cottage renovated they continue to take children on the Christian weekends for the next 35 years, creating opportunities for fun and support for so many. They’re active in their own church community too, hosting and supporting those around them. 

A life woven into other people’s lives, bringing some hope and help.

Her husband’s heath suffers and after a battle with blood cancer, and he passes away in 2015.

His poems about how he felt during that time are eventually used in lectures to help students understand the challenges of his and similar illness. 

The weekend activity cottage is sold and the money is used to convert their local church for better use to be able to continue to supporting the community and the next generation. 

The cottage has become a bit of celebrity in its village! Children who visited returning as adults to again see the place where they’d had so much fun and support, and were given so many opportunities.

Legacy

In spreading Mike’s ashes and visiting the local church she bumps into two people who came to the cottage as children and had come back to visit, they’re both doing positive things with their lives and were thankful for the time they’d had there. 

It felt like a reminder of the legacy their work has left, that continues to flow through the lives of the people they touched.

Having retired from nursery nursing and running her own childminding business, A is still an active person, taking piano lessons, (having made her biggest personal purchase of a piano!), singing with the local choir and crafting for charity. 

A gently soul who continues to be woven into the community.

Insight

Amazing to hear her stories, and be encouraged that the things we do really can leave a life long legacy.

Weaving concept based on the colours of her husband’s favourite colours he used to wear.

Weaving of lives image

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Tell us your story Andy

Tell us your story Andy

Andy’s story

Sent to boarding school very young as a way of finding some structure after some struggles with schools and life. Feeling like ‘I’ve stuffed up, abandoned and rejected by family and that I’d failed and fallen short. I had to do better if I was to reach the standards to be good enough to be accepted and loved by my family again and be allowed back home’.

A sense of striving… 

Boarding school was a difficult time with bullying, corporate punishment and missing home. Seeks solace in singing to himself, making up worship songs and engaging with the notion of God to have someone to talk to, but the challenges continue at college. Felt being bullied is all his own fault and is self critical.

Pushes God away ‘as self protection before he rejects me’…  a coping mechanism used for years in close relationships.

Post Uni in early twenties relationship with parents is restored.

Work success

Finds work success but life feels like ‘there’s something still missing’. Invited to Alpha course by a friend and loves it! Has a sense of healing in knowing ‘God loves me and won’t reject me’. Becomes more ready an able to let someone into his life. In a better place. having experienced God’s unconditional love.

Gets married. Finds unconditional love of his wife restorative.

Health takes a turn for the worse, an initial back problem at 36 meaning he has 7 months off work… cracked vertebra. Receives prayer and permanent healing of vertebrae. Returns to work.

Signed off with other health complications at 39 that forces early retirement.

The following year Dad has brain tumour and Mum diagnosed with dementia. Dad dies two years later – traumatic. It’s a trauma that triggers a further health decline but he manages to nurse Mum until her passing three years later.  

Health diagnosis

Diagnosis at 43 meant a bedridden future is predicted.

‘Will you fight?, I have the last word’ prompt from God. 

Receives phrase and picture from someone ‘…but God’ about hope and staying positive. 

Decides to fight for his health and joins a gym, astounding the specialists with his progress. Four years later sells wheelchair and mobility scooter!

Battles everyday to live the best life he can as health continues to bring challenges and limitations, having the strength to turn up and do what he can and make a difference.

He’s not defined by his health, position, contribution or how much he can do. He knows his value comes from ‘Who I am and not what I’ve achieved’. 

‘We live in a culture where we’re lead to believe we need to achieve and buy and go one better than the next person but I feel no need to do that. I value the small things, being content with what I’ve got and what I can do. Having a heart of thanks and finding peace with that’. 

Great company.

An awesome human.

Insight

Life, you’ve got to roll with it. I’m trying to discern and accept what I can’t change, have the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Wisdom

Look for the blessings and give thanks for them.

boat image
Above and below
boat draft
boat close up
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Share some stories from your life with a view to encouraging others by sharing the ups and downs of your journey, with opportunities to join in with some creative responses if you want to!

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Tell us your story Sarah

Tell us your story Sarah

Sarah’s story

Sarah the active champion

Someone really squeeing the best life she can from life!

Early on goes to Sandiway Petty Pool College studying catering and office retail then went to West Cheshire College doing Occupational Studies and finding independence for herself living in a student house in Ellesmere port.

Volunteers in the community cafe and helps set up and is co-chair of the Bread Making Co-op, ‘Bread Together’ (Supported by The Duke of Westminster). It operates in two venues in Chester and is a super friendly special space.  

An active spark, she takes up rowing on the river Dee in a 4 person team, goes swimming, the gym and cycling. 2009 wins a bronze and silver at the Special Olympics with Boccia and, in 2017, with Ten pin bowling.

2016 starts her Duke of Edinburgh award (involving camping and loads of walking amongst other things!) Visits Buckingham Palace in 2018 to receive her gold award and also squeezes in a trip to the crown jewels too.

Has travelled to Europe visiting France, Spain and Germany, some for more Special Olympics action!

Watch out for some bread making experimentation and I suspect some more medals in the future!

Reflection

A champion person, bread making superstar, and a beacon of light.

Creative response

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Tell us your story E

Tell us your story E

E’s story

Resilience springs to mind from E’s story. An early life complicated by various health challenges hasn’t stopped her finding a way and making a success of her education, attaining fantastic dance grades and exploring making music.

After taking time out pre university she’s done a wonderful job of managing and organising a charity. Seeking to ‘make a difference, working for the common good with a team where everyone’s ideas are heard’. What’s not to like about that?

The future looks busy with looking forward to studying therapies, potentially working with children, seeking to finish her ballet grades and perhaps composing some music. A creative, capable achiever.

Some people just make you feel like the world is in good hands.

Creative response

Mindmap graphic

There is the world we all live in.
There is an arena where the roles I perform align with my core beliefs
There are activities I do that influence those things

 

world graphic

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Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone’s story is valuable.

Share some stories from your life with a view to encouraging others by sharing the ups and downs of your journey, with opportunities to join in with some creative responses if you want to!

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