Sent to boarding school very young as a way of finding some structure after some struggles with schools and life. Feeling like ‘I’ve stuffed up, abandoned and rejected by family and that I’d failed and fallen short. I had to do better if I was to reach the standards to be good enough to be accepted and loved by my family again and be allowed back home’.
A sense of striving…
Boarding school was a difficult time with bullying, corporate punishment and missing home. Seeks solace in singing to himself, making up worship songs and engaging with the notion of God to have someone to talk to, but the challenges continue at college. Felt being bullied is all his own fault and is self critical.
Pushes God away ‘as self protection before he rejects me’… a coping mechanism used for years in close relationships.
Post Uni in early twenties relationship with parents is restored.
Finds work success but life feels like ‘there’s something still missing’. Invited to Alpha course by a friend and loves it! Has a sense of healing in knowing ‘God loves me and won’t reject me’. Becomes more ready an able to let someone into his life. In a better place. having experienced God’s unconditional love.
Gets married. Finds unconditional love of his wife restorative.
Health takes a turn for the worse, an initial back problem at 36 meaning he has 7 months off work… cracked vertebra. Receives prayer and permanent healing of vertebrae. Returns to work.
Signed off with other health complications at 39 that forces early retirement.
The following year Dad has brain tumour and Mum diagnosed with dementia. Dad dies two years later – traumatic. It’s a trauma that triggers a further health decline but he manages to nurse Mum until her passing three years later.
Diagnosis at 43 meant a bedridden future is predicted.
‘Will you fight?, I have the last word’ prompt from God.
Receives phrase and picture from someone ‘…but God’ about hope and staying positive.
Decides to fight for his health and joins a gym, astounding the specialists with his progress. Four years later sells wheelchair and mobility scooter!
Battles everyday to live the best life he can as health continues to bring challenges and limitations, having the strength to turn up and do what he can and make a difference.
He’s not defined by his health, position, contribution or how much he can do. He knows his value comes from ‘Who I am and not what I’ve achieved’.
‘We live in a culture where we’re lead to believe we need to achieve and buy and go one better than the next person but I feel no need to do that. I value the small things, being content with what I’ve got and what I can do. Having a heart of thanks and finding peace with that’.
An awesome human.
Life, you’ve got to roll with it. I’m trying to discern and accept what I can’t change, have the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Look for the blessings and give thanks for them.
Fancy joining in?
Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone’s story is valuable.
Share some stories from your life with a view to encouraging others by sharing the ups and downs of your journey, with opportunities to join in with some creative responses if you want to!